Guess Who is Turning Two Soon

As we sit here not the eve of our little one's birthday tomorrow, it's hard to believe that little one is about to turn two tomorrow.

TWO ya'll! (watch out) Just typing those very words makes my heart skip a beat.

We've been in planning mode for the last couple of weeks to get things in order for her birthday party. Funny thing is, the summer was just rolling along with its normal string of events and the bustle of activities and suddenly before we knew it we were about a month out from her birthday and we hadn't even started thinking about what we wanted to do nor had begun any planning. (this coming from someone who loves to plan in advance-yikes!) 

We started thinking about this being her first birthday that we will have the privilege of celebrating with her, and wanted to make it a special day. I guess you could say, it's like her "first birthday" to celebrate with her forever family. (and let's be honest, we won't  likely do another bigger one until peanut is 16) 

We started thinking about what we wanted to do for her party--what did she like? What are her favorites? What has she sort of latched onto in these last 5 months since living in our home?  We quickly realized that many of the typical things you'd find at a child's two year old birthday, she has no understanding of. She doesn't know Nickelodeon characters or Disney or anything affiliated with it. She hasn't seen Frozen yet.( but I know "little miss music" will LOVE it when we finally do watch it) She's not been exposed to many of the common things that little ones start off early learning about, playing with, or begging for while shopping in the stores with their mommas. So where did that leave us?

Well.... we sat back after thinking a minute and knew that Brielle loves:

Bubbles
Pinwheels
Flowers
balloons 

**bubbles, flowers, and balloons were among her first English words ironically

It's a bit of a random grouping, but hey-- we can work with that. We sort of took this thought and from it decided to go with something that looked like flowers or pinwheels or bubbles. So, since momma finds it very therapeutic to do crafts and make things, it was off to grab some paper at the store that had some patterns that favored "bubbles and flowers" and get a little bit of fabric with a similar thought in mind. (dots, abstract patterns, etc.)

Nate may laugh at me sometimes, but I have my "party box" that I keep for times like this when we're hosting something, or throwing a shower, etc. So off to the box I went to see what all was in there just waiting to be used. Well, I may get teased by my husband about what I keep sometimes to re-use, but trust me, when it comes to art/craft supplies, you can reuse a lot of things you keep on hand and I hate wasting and can always find a use for something. While digging through the box, I found ribbon and washi tape from other projects I've done, glue dots, (if you don't know what these are, you haven't lived life-- best item they ever created!) items from our wedding (yes, that was 8 yrs ago but some things still come in handy!), yarn from projects for Brielle, frames from her nursery and play room, and by the time it was all said and done-- we came up with a party idea based off of objects in our home that we could pull and use alongside a few crafts made out of paper and fabric. (did I mention we like to save money, too?) 

We decided to pull colors from her nursery and playroom, so that we could re-use anything that was made for her birthday party.  Since we already had some things we could work with, it just made sense (and saved a lot of time since time is of utmost importance most days while living the "toddler life")

So, with just a bit of "treasure hunting" around the house and going through the trusty craft drawers and the "party box", we were set with a plan with a lot of fun details. This momma loves a plan and thankfully details just happen to be "my thing", as I realize most people probably hate detailed projects or thinking through lists, and just the very thought for some might make them break out in hives. It energizes me- call me crazy, right?

So, thanks to little one's wonderful and patient daddy, this momma had a few evenings to work on some craft projects for her birthday that will act as nursery/play room decor additions later. (gotta' be strategic!)

So, despite some setbacks with the birthday party and our original plans for the day, we are excited to soon celebrate the life of one of God's most amazing gifts to us. We know she really won't remember much about this first birthday with us. We realize she might not even want to put her hands anywhere near a cupcake since she likes her hands clean. We laugh because she probably couldn't even tell you how old she is turning, but hey-- she's still learning English, right? 

What we do know is this--tomorrow as she turns two, we will celebrate life. 

• We will celebrate that God had a beautiful plan for her life and one that we will continue to see unfold in the years to come.
• We will celebrate the joy that she brings to our lives and the lives of others
• We will celebrate with thankfulness that He has brought her to this second year of her life, even if it involved a bumpy road full of medical needs, sicknesses, medical appointments, and overcoming difficulties 
• We will celebrate, but always remember there is someone on the other side of the world who likely will be thinking of her on this very day and would love to know that she is taken care of 

We are so blessed to have you, little one, in our lives and can't wait to celebrate the gift of you, Brielle!

God Kisses- An Unexpected Surprise by Mail

Sometimes in life there are moments that you can look back at and know immediately that it was a "God moment". Throughout our adoption process both while we waited to be matched, during our time in China when we met our daughter, and most recently in this post-placement stage, we've continued to see those moments that have come to be known as "God kisses". 

"God kisses".

You know, those sweet little "extras" that God pours out on you when He certainly didn't have to. Those tangible little moments or things that you know could only come from Him- moments that point to an all-perfect God that is so concerned with every little detail, even the littlest details- that He thinks of something that even you wouldn't have thought of if you could have orchestrated it.

That's what our family received several weeks back. Several little "God kisses".  

It was an ordinary day. Nothing special going on and we had been home from China for about two months. I was getting dinner ready when Nate came home from work, walked in the door and asked me if I had ordered something. I looked at him funny and said, "No, why do you ask?" He then pulled up a huge brown flat package and said, "This was at the front door."

Curious, I took it from him and looked at the return label which showed that it was mailed from "Show Hope." I couldn't imagine what would be in such a large flat package and knew we weren't expecting anything from them.  

In case you've forgotten from previous posts, SHOW HOPE is the Christian organization in the Nashville area founded by music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. Show Hope was founded to help with orphan care initiatives such as adoption grants, orphan care/surgeries, orphan advocacy, and most importantly for us- to provide care centers in China to help children with medical needs who need additional care, surgeries, etc. above and beyond what the orphanage can provide. When we were matched with our little one, we soon discovered that she was in one of these 5 care centers in China (hers was on the fifth floor of her orphanage- run by Show Hope and New Hope Foundation).  She was receiving much needed additional care for her medical needs, for which we are abundantly grateful. You can read more about the amazing things we found out about our daughter and the way that Show Hope played such a huge part in our daughter's life by reading our post HERE.

Fast forward a few months later when we have our little one home and this package arrives at our doorstep. I carefully opened it as I soon noticed a note that said "X-rays- Do Not Bend". I was suddenly curious as I couldn't figure out why we would be receiving X-rays by mail, but as I opened up the package I suddenly realized it was more than X-rays.

We had been mailed all of our daughter's original MRI's directly from her orphanage in China to Show Hope and then on to us. A package full of "MRI film" poured out onto our kitchen table---

(future doctor in the making, perhaps?)

---but that wasn't all.

We looked further into the envelope and another packet of items were deeper inside. We had been sent a wonderful booklet about all of Show Hope's work sharing about the amazing life-change they've seen over the years. 

Then we found original segments of our daughter's referral information with medical tests we had seen before, but these sheets were from New Hope Foundation's intake notes they had written on her when they completed her medical exam. These documents had original handwritten notes on her paperwork, written by those who had cared for her in China. We then noticed several other items paper-clipped to these documents.

More "God Kisses"...

Attached were several laminated ID tags in several different sizes. I immediately recognized the photo and layout as we had seen it at her orphanage when we visited and I had quickly snapped a photo of it. 

It was her bed identification tag that we had seen in her room. I was beyond curious by this point that when I realized what I thought we were holding. I quickly sent an email to Show Hope to ask if they could share what these were and confirm, since I was unsure of why we had been sent several of the same item in different sizes. They went on to explain that they had sent us the original identification laminated tags that had been used in China for her bed and used with the few belongings that she had at her orphanage, so that her items didn't get mixed up with other children. (i.e. her bottle, etc.) 

"God kisses".

It's rare to receive much information on your little one, much less to receive the original MRI's taken in China and her ID tags for her few belongings and her crib. I know many a family that I've both worked with or known personally as friends who would give anything to receive something like that for their little one's history and especially to have for their medical history. 

However, we haven't reached the cherry on the top of this story yet. (shocking, I know)  The "God kisses" aren't over yet. There's one more to share. 

A few days later we received an email with a surprise invitation from Show Hope sharing that Steven Curtis Chapman and Mary Beth were inviting all of the families who have had children cared for in one of their care centers in China, to join them for a private reunion in Nashville at the Chapman Family Barn to celebrate all that God has done over the years and all of the lives changed through adoption. (picture "day of fun for kids and families" in your mind ) 

We didn't think we would be able to make this happen, then Nate came home a few weeks back to share that he'd worked out all of the details and we were going to go and be a part of this and meet other parents at this adoption reunion. So exciting!

.....and that's what we will be doing. We will have the privilege of visiting the Show Hope offices, meeting the staff and thanking them for the wonderful care they provided for our daughter. The following day we will meet other families who have also been impacted by all of the wonderful things that Show Hope is doing in China. We will share in the joy of being reunited with several families from our recent travel group in February who will also be attending this event. 

And if all of that wasn't enough excitement, we were asked to be filmed and share our story-- the story that HE so beautifully wrote. You can be praying for that this weekend too, that God will give us the words to say that will bring Him glory and praise for all that He has done. (and pray that our little peanut cooperates in this endeavor-- this is where I'm tempted to consider inserting a number of emoticons for your enjoyment, but I'll let your imagination run wild with the random faces I might be making right now just thinking about a one and a half year old sitting/participating in a 45 minute interview process-lol)

We are beyond blessed to have the opportunity to add one more piece to the story of our daughter's life- to have another tangible moment and memory to share with her down the road.

We are excited to take a little mini-trip to Nashville and grateful for all that God has done to make this possible. (and yes, you can say a little prayer for us as this will be our first road trip of any distance with Little Miss since we've been home these past three months) Our hearts are more than full and we don't ever want to take any of these "God Kisses" for granted and what they mean to our family and the life of our daughter. 

US Citizenship Certificate & Re-adopting

Well, it's official! We finally have the all-coveted US Certificate of Citizenship for our little peanut. They told us at the US Consulate in China that it would take several months, but this little gem showed up in our mailbox right around the three month anniversary date of when they placed our little one in our arms in China. 

Now-- while you probably don't think much about this document and its importance, it's truly one of the most important documents for a child that is adopted internationally, as it grants them the ability to have all of same rights and privileges that an individual born here in the US receives. Thought it's an important document, something tells me our little one wasn't really too enamored with this little piece of paper and its significance. She'd far rather take some crayons or a pen in hand and mark all over it. (and for those of you looking at the below pictures and freaking out thinking that she might have tore this when we gave it to her to look at...we put it in a protective case before she held it. Unfortunately, the way it was already mailed by US Citizenship and Immigration Services, it was bent when it arrived- which was a little disappointing)

While this document is important not to lose for a number of reasons (and also would come with a not so fun replacement fee), we have chosen to do the re-adoption process for our state once we reach that point in the upcoming months which will replace this document with a US birth certificate. Many people ask why do we need to do this re-adoption process in our state. Well, while we don't have to do this in our state as a requirement, it would not be wise to skip this step as it will help "B" later in life with so many areas. 

Re-adopting here in our state through the US court system will provide her with a state birth certificate just as if she were born here in the US to us. This will then allow her to use this more familiar US document to enroll in school, obtain a driver's license, get a job, enroll in college, and a host of other things. While you can still do those things with a US Certificate of Citizenship, it's just more complicated because it's a document that most people aren't as familiar with and can often come with more hoops and hurdles. Having the state birth certificate makes life much easier on a family and the child if/when a family chooses to re-adopt in their state, particularly when the state grants a state birth certificate as part of the re-adoption process. (re-adoption looks different in each state)

To clarify, "B" was officially a US citizen at her first point of entry into the US, so she became a US Citizen on February 13, 2015 when we landed in New Jersey. Despite her now claims to being a "southern girl" -- I guess she officially started out as a "Jersey girl".

Just looking at this certificate, it's amazing to already see the change in 3 months since we took this photo in China-- her hair has grown so much already and oh the changes we've seen over these past 12 weeks since she was placed in our arms. We'll save that for another post, but there are so many things we could name. 

What a wonderful journey it's been already and with this official document in hand, we now get to move on to our next step in applying for her social security card. Excited and thankful that some of our final steps on the paperwork side are coming to a close. As always, we are so thankful to God for each step He continues to carry us on in this journey.

A Medical Update- Miracles from the Father

This post is well overdue since so many have been asking for an update on how everything has gone with all of our testing/medical appointments over the last two months. We are hopeful that you can excuse the lateness, as we just might have had our hands just a little full the last several weeks settling into life as a family of three, juggling new schedules, numerous medical appointments, and work schedules.  We know that so many have been asking the results of everything with our little one, so we’d like to take a few minutes to share some moments that we’ve had in the last 8 weeks.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t a one and done type of appointment, so much of this has been ongoing.

Upon coming home from China, there were many medical appointments and processes we had to go through for Little Miss.  We just finished one of our last ones a few weeks ago, and will at least get a short respite for a little bit.  A child that is adopted internationally has to be examined for a multitude of things, not just the medical needs that we knew our little one had. We had to go through rounds of blood work and testing for infectious diseases (it’s standard, even though this has been tested in China, it gets re-tested stateside), parasites, thyroid issues, standard blood panel, TB (tuberculosis), hearing tests (which is coming up in May), lead levels (since often buildings in China may have higher lead levels which can be very dangerous to a young child)  all the while meeting with our pediatric cardiologist, international adoption pediatrician, and an occupational therapist for evaluations and next steps in a treatment plan for our daughter.  Whew—makes me tired just remembering all of the back and forth to these appointments and re-reading this list.

During all of this, we quickly learned that “B” doesn’t have exposed veins from which nurses can draw blood, which they said is in part due to her heart condition and the way her blood pumps throughout her body, as it makes her veins very restricted and difficult to access. All of her blood draws were the most difficult thing to watch as the first round they probably pricked her about 6 times in one arm trying to get blood before they realized the issue they were dealing with, tried the other arm and then realized they had to get additional assistance to come in and try to figure out where to draw it from, which ended up being from a vein they had to “push up” in her hand. It was painful for us to watch and hold her and know that it’s for her good, but that she was traumatized a bit by this whole process.

After our initial consultations and testing which was about 4 weeks after we returned home from China, we were given the news that our cardiologist wanted to continue to wait and watch her heart for the next few months and see if she could continue to gain weight and grow. She’s still a tiny little thing at right under 20 pounds (which she’s thankfully gained about 3 pounds since Gotcha Day in China on February 2) We will go back to cardiology in June for a re-evaluation and to see how things are going.  Her cardiologist was very positive and is hoping for continued progress with hopes that we may avoid surgery.  Time will tell.

During all of these weeks of testing, we did come across a concern and some results that came up regarding her liver, which was a bit frightening, so the doctors wanted to do some further testing. We are so thankful to report that after further testing, everything appears to have checked out just fine and all of her other tests came back with wonderful results as well. She did test positive and was diagnosed with a parasite that generally would make a child her age sick, but God protected her and she didn't and hasn't had any symptoms which surprised doctors. God is good. There were even some initial concerns about some things we knew could be possibilities once we got her home, but God took care of those entirely and there are currently no additional issues at all. 

Since coming home about 10 weeks ago, we have learned a bit more about our little one thanks to two wonderful non-profits that provided care for our daughter in her orphanage care center. Oftentimes when an organization is working with orphans in China, they do not have the ability to share all of their information in advance to parents until the family finalizes their adoption.  It’s a hard dynamic to explain as to why this is the way it is, but we knew that once we returned from China, we were going to receive a lot more information on “B” than what we had received when we said “Yes” and she became ours.  We just weren’t sure how much info or what exactly we would receive, other than we knew we would receive some additional photos they had taken since the time she came into the orphanage at a month old.

We will still never forget that moment when we visited her orphanage...

...the medical staff handed us a piece of paper with New Hope Foundation letterhead on it and shared some notes and provided us with the name of the doctor and his contact information that had treated our daughter while in China. I literally almost fell in the floor as that sort of thing just doesn’t normally happen in international adoption. This one piece of paper held so much value as they shared that our specialists in the U.S. were welcome to communicate with this doctor at any time with questions. 

Wow. Just wow. There were no words...and trust me, neither of us are usually speechless very often.

Here is a short video that highlights the work of New Hope Foundation:

https://vimeo.com/115624870

We will forever be indebted to the wonderful work of New Hope Foundation in Beijing and Show Hope in Nashville for the wonderful work and financial support that made it possible for our daughter to be cared for in a way that far exceeded anything we could have imagined.  In partnership together, they provided specialized medical staffing and care for our daughter’s Special Care Center that was housed in her orphanage.  As you may know, Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth Chapman founded Show Hope.  The Chapmans saw the needs in China a number of years ago and adopted several children from China and then expanded to create an amazing non-profit that now has care centers in China for medical/special needs children, provides adoption grants to Christian families, provides foster care/adoption conferences and training for foster/adoptive families and more.

About a month after we had come home from China, we received an email from Show Hope that said they had finalized all of the additional items from China for “B” and were sending us that information. About five minutes later we were both staring at our computer, mouths wide open, looking at a screen which now held file after file of new information and additional photos.

• Almost 150 new photos from each month she was living there
• Photos of our daughter from the very day she came into the orphanage at 26   days old

•       Photos of her “ayi” (nanny) and other nannies that worked with her

•       Photos of the children that were her “crib mates” in her room

•       Photos of her with her little friends
•       Photos of their version of Christmas (which they did have Santa hats & cake-LOL) 

As if the photos weren’t a blessing enough, we then received a large excel document that were medical charts on our daughter with notes from almost every day or every other day or so where they charted her progress, her medical issues, each/every sickness she had, every medication she was given and more. We were blessed to receive important growth measurements for every month she was there, which was an incredible asset to her physicians here in the states. Our International Adoption Clinic and doctors were all stunned, as they had never seen anything like this provided on a child they had cared for upon returning from overseas. We had told them that they weren’t going to believe it until they saw it.

Through this amazing information, we learned a great deal more about our daughter’s health needs, medical issues she had experienced during certain months while in China, and also learned about some additional medical needs that we were weren’t aware of when we first reviewed her file and made the decision to adopt her. All of these wonderful notes just helped us piece together some of the missing pieces that were helpful to doctors and to us in general and will hopefully help us to continue on the best path of treatment for her in the days to come.

We know that the dynamic surrounding our daughter’s situation is unique and not what is commonly seen in China. It was without question- God ordained.  The prayers of many were answered in a way that is “Above and Beyond” anything we could have asked for on our own.

We realize many a parent adopting internationally would give anything to receive the kind of information God so graciously bestowed upon our family.  We know without a doubt that God ordained the exact place where she would be born, where she would be found, where she would be taken for care and placed her in a special care center where she would receive more one on one care and medical attention to help her survive her current circumstances and better grow and develop.  As if this wasn’t enough, to think that both of these organizations that helped provide treatment and care for our daughter were Christian organizations.  If that’s not the cherry on top, I’m not sure what else could be?

We want to thank each of you who have prayed for many months for our daughter, for her care, for her medical appointments/tests and for this entire process in general.  This very post would not be possible without numerous prayers from so many and we want you to know that it is because of the power of prayer that we are able to sit here and write this incredible praise report of all that God has done and is continuing to do in the life of our little one. She still has a ways to go in many areas and there are still more medical appointments ahead, but we are thankful for where things are right now and how God has truly had His hand on her life.  

If we learned anything out of the new information we received, we learned that this little one is quite a fighter and the outcome could have looked a lot different had God not intervened. As her doctor in China noted to us several weeks after we returned home, “You have a very special daughter.  After seeing so many other children in China not recover from some of the issues your daughter experienced early on, we do not take that for granted and we tried to optimize her chances to do well…” We know without a doubt that our little one is thriving and doing as well as she is today thanks to the wonderful care she received in her care center.

We prayed from the beginning of this process that God would use her life and story to reflect praise to her Heavenly Father…that her life and story would bring honor to God and point to moments and details that only an all-wise loving Father could orchestrate. It’s not at all about us, but ALL about Him.  May God continue to write her story in a way that only He can write.

“To Him who is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that we ask or think…

to Him be the glory…forever and ever.”

– Ephesians 3:20-21

Two Important Things to Know About Little Miss

We wanted to write to let you know a few things we feel you need to know about Little Miss at this stage of us being home. We want to shed a little light on what this transition period of coming home with “B” has and continues to look like for our family – and how you will be a part of that! Things are going well and we know a lot of you have had various questions and probably are curious about many things. We are always more than happy to talk about our process or answer questions, so feel free to reach out. We want to educate people who are interested in adoption in any way that we can.

There are two important areas we want to highlight to everyone...

Her Health

&

Her Attachment

Because of B’s medical needs, we are being careful right now with her exposure to a lot of the things still going around right now, since it is still the end of flu season. Obviously we can't shelter her nor have we, but in essence, she has had no exposure to and does not have built up immunities to any of our U.S. “bugs” that are being passed around like crazy right now and as we all know, it’s been a rough winter and continues to be for all of these bugs and viruses.  Because she will continue to see doctors and specialists in the upcoming days, we do need to continue to aim to keep her as healthy as possible for any other testing and any possible future treatment(s) she may have in the weeks/months ahead; otherwise, these important things can be delayed. We just want those who are close to us or will have close contact with her to understand why we’d like to be as careful in this area as possible. This is why we’ve stayed at home the larger portion of the time since bringing her home. That said, we just ask everyone to please exercise caution in this area, especially if you have been or are sick to try to refrain from touching her little face and hands, etc. [trust us- we think her little face and hands are cute and oh-so-irresistible and just begging for touching, too! :)] This will hopefully aid us in continuing to keep her well for any upcoming appointments she will have.  We know this may sound over the top to some, but we hope that you will understand where we are coming from and that we aren’t trying to be “crazy paranoid parents”… we promise we are very laid back- there are just a lot of things still unknown right now until we get further along with continued medical appointments.

The second area that is equally important is the area of bonding and attachment to us as her parents. This is one of the number one issues/concerns families can suddenly find themselves facing in adoption. Because we know you care for Brielle and our family, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around her to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation we can for her – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways, Brielle will be like a child who entered a family through birth; we will parent in many ways just as other Christian families as we aim to bring our children up in the instruction of the Lord. However, there will be a few, initial differences. For several years now, we have researched and studied bonding and attachment in children, especially those coming home through adoption from an orphanage setting. We are confident of this: God’s design is PERFECT! His plan for parents and children is a beautiful and meaningful picture of His love for us. Because our daughter is new to us being her mom and dad, it is important for us to have some important boundaries for the first few months. If you’re someone who we will see regularly at home, church, our just out and about, please take the time to read these notes on attachment and why this plays a crucial role in our daughter’s well-being long-term. These come from well-known Christian international adoption specialists and medical professionals with years of adoption experience and research.

Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need, communicates that need, and a primary caretaker meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent - the baby is hungry or needs changing, cries in distress, mom feeds/changes/calms the baby – which teaches him/her that this person is safe and can be trusted.  This also aids in very important early brain development. By God’s very design, an emotional foundation through attachment is laid in the tiniest of babies, which will affect their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will ultimately give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption (especially orphanage settings or difficult foster home settings) have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother and father at an early age can be a major trauma in their little lives. For our daughter, she has experienced the loss of everything familiar- the sights, smells, food, people, and language of her birth country to name a few as well as comforting caretakers. These losses can easily overwhelm a child and may manifest themselves in various ways day to day. Everything around her continues to be new and she will need to learn not just about a new environment, but also about love and family. Though we could see by visiting her orphanage that she was loved, she still did not experience God’s perfect design for a family while living in an orphanage setting. In many ways, her world has been recently turned upside down. She may struggle with feeling safe and secure at times and may develop new fears in her new environment and may lack the ability at times to trust that we will meet her needs or protect her from these new fears.

With God’s help, we can now, as her forever family, work together to rebuild attachment and help her heal. The best way for us to form a solid parent/child bond is to be the primary ones to hold, cuddle, instruct, comfort and feed her in these early stages of her being home and learning to identify us as her parents and primary caregivers. As this repeats between us, she will be able to learn that we are safe to trust and to love deeply and will always be there to meet her needs. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once she begins to establish this important bond over time with us, she will then be able to branch out to other healthy relationships. 

Children from orphanage settings are prone to reach out and attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents.  Children who have had various caregivers may appear very friendly and may eagerly go to anyone at times to have their physical or emotional needs met as that is what they’ve learned in their early days of life as a mode of survival.  A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their parents. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually quite dangerous for the child. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have our daughter hugged, cuddled and cherished by those closest to us, but until she has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct her to us if you see that she is seeking out food or comfort.

Please know that these decisions are thoughtfully made choices based on years of research from both trusted medical and international adoption professionals and advice from adoption professionals. We will be doing what we believe is best to help her heal from the early interruptions she had in attachment.  We hope that you will understand and trust that we are doing this to give our little one an ideal environment to become a secure, well adjusted, and confident little girl in our family.

Though we continue to see amazing signs every day that she is attaching well, we can’t give an exact timeline on what this will look like or at what point we’ll say that she is “fully attached” to us. This takes time and every child is different. We hope and pray that this transition will continue to be smooth, but given the huge amount of new sights, people, and experiences day in and day out, we will continue to watch her progress carefully and how she interacts with both others as well as us.

Why are we telling you all of this? Because you will actually play an incredible and vital role in helping our little girl to settle into her new home, heal, and lay a foundation for the future. It will help us immensely if adults who are around our daughter limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with a young child who you are around frequently. This will (for a while) include things like everyone holding her or excessive hugging and kissing. Waving, blowing kisses, high fives (which she loves to give), or a pat on the back are perfectly appropriate and more than welcomed.  She should know that the people with whom she interacts are our trusted friends and family.

We are so grateful to have a community of friends that will help our daughter feel loved, safe, and secure. We couldn’t ask for any better family and circle of friends for her. Thank you so much for your love and support throughout this entire adoption process. She is doing so well and God continues to grant us so many answers to prayers that have been prayed for so long.

** some portions adapted from Show Hope resources

Today We Celebrate Our One Month Gotcha Day

A month ago today God placed this sweet little bundle in our arms on her Gotcha Day. It's hard to put into words and believe a month ago she was an orphan living in China without the love of a forever family. We've had her for one month today and have been home from China for 2 weeks.  Looking back, it's amazing to see how Little Miss has gone through and continues to go through an amazing transformation each and every day that goes by. 

What we used to see---

A frightened, lifeless, lethargic child with no facial expressions.

A child who would barely eat or walk in the first week we met her; yet, would want to hold a food item in each hand when given the opportunity or would hold food in her mouth after meals.

A child who did not know who we were and why we were suddenly there in her world. 

A child who could not comprehend who was holding her on this special day for us, yet oh so very difficult day in her life.

A child who didn't speak our language and we didn't speak hers.

A child who had hardly seen outside the walls of her orphanage and who had not seen much of or ever experienced the "outside world" that the rest of us live in daily.

A child who had never experienced the noisy, polluted, and crowded streets of her hometown in China. 

A child who had never experienced multiple vehicle rides or a plane ride.

A child who had never experienced the true beauty of music and rhythm. 

A child who was often dressed in layers of worn boy's clothing.

A child who never smiled in any of her referral photos or updates.

A child who had never experienced riding in a car seat.

A child who had limited exposure to stimulating things and very few, if any, toys and would sit on our bed and just play with her hands. 

A child who had never experienced a variety of foods or as much food as she could want to eat. 

A child who most likely had never attended a party thrown in her honor. 


Fast Forward one month in a family. What do we now see? We see---


A beautiful little girl who has now transformed into a child full of bubbling personality. 

A little girl who would only drink formula and mainly only eat rice congee while in China and who now loves to eat bananas, oatmeal, yogurt, apple sauce, and avocados- just to name a few!

A little girl who makes more funny faces than we can count in a day. 

A little girl who loves to wear bright clothing and headbands and princess slippers her Grammy gave her. 

A little girl who crinkles her nose just like her mom and flashes a mischievous grin more than several times a day.

A little girl who dances to music every time she hears a beat and who has already learned a line of one song (even if it's just animal noises- she knows exactly when it's coming up in the song and when to do it- lol) 

A little girl who already recognizes Jesus Loves Me when she hears it and tries to say "The Bible tells me so".

A little girl who mimics anything or any face that her mommy and daddy make or do.

A little girl who loves running from daddy when he chases her to tickle her and then explodes into laughter. 

A little girl whose big smiles and giggles light up a room.

A little girl who just recently experienced her first snow. 

A little girl who can now identify a momma and daddy and point to them in a room. 

Brielle- We've watched you observe the smallest of details and then immediately copy it perfectly on the next try. We've watched you observe us taking lotion from a bottle, rubbing it in between our hands and then putting it on you and you now can mimic these steps perfectly. We've watched you fall in love with the cartoon Ni Hao Kai Lan and already recognize the theme song and imitate some words in Chinese and a few in English. We've watched you try to learn new words and even though it's a struggle, we see you try every now and then. We saw you take your first tumble in the snow even when you weren't quite sure what that cold stuff was. You've tried every food we've given you and thus far you've liked pretty much everything you've tried since being home. We've watched you make a new face practically every day. We've watched you imitate us "cleaning"  and you seem to like things clean just like your mom and dad and you like helping mommy sweep the floor.  You are learning how to feed yourself and have been practicing using a fork and spoon. You don't like food all over your hands and face and will make it clear when we need to clean you off. You're still not a fan of whole milk yet, but are doing much better drinking water and using a sippy cup. You still love your bottle and we don't mind cuddling with you to give it to you. You still have some trouble with sleep and definitely fight those naps! We've nicknamed you "crouching tiger" because you have a little crouching position you love to sit in and you love to make a tiger sound. You went from not being sure about this whole "American bath thing"  in China to loving to take a bath and now loving to play in the bath. You even find your reflection in the chrome in the bathtub every day and giggle at yourself.

You know what a remote control does and could mimic that after watching it demonstrated only once. You're in love with cell phones and will have the funniest conversations with yourself when you have one in your hand and if you don't have one in hand, you'll turn any object into one. Amazing how quickly you've learned what cell phones can do! There are still so many things you are intrigued by and have never seen or tried yet, but you will. 

You will eventually meet your wonderful church family and take your first trip to a grocery store, Target or a mall. You will try ice cream (it's your mom and dad's favorite) and pizza and I'm sure many other things that, in time, you'll be ready for. You'll have your first appointments with the international adoption clinic and specialists next week and we know you'll do great. There is still oh so much for you to explore, little one, and everything right now is such a world of curiosity and wonder for you.

We know you were given amazing care in your Care Center at your orphanage in China and had wonderful nannies that loved you dearly; however, even as great as that is, we know that God designed you and each of us for the love of a family and we are so blessed to see the results of one on one nurturing just exploding forth in you now that you are home. We also know that this is also the result of the prayers of so many.

Brielle- we've loved every minute we've shared with you in the last month and can't wait to see what the next month holds for our family! You've already been a blessing to us and your extended family and I'm sure the lives of others both in China and at home. So thankful for a faithful God who chose us to be your parents.