This past Thursday, August 1, our family had a beautiful "Celebration of Life Service" to celebrate the almost 84 years of life our Grandma lived. Funerals are never easy for anyone to go through, but I will say that her "dear sweet Pastor Carl" (as she would call him) and my dad, both preached and spoke such sweet words- both sharing stories of her humorous moments. My dad had always joked with her and told her that as the son-in-law, "he'd get the last word" - to which he joked that he did this week. As a mother-in-law and son-in-law they both had such a fun-loving relationship. It was only fitting that he would do part of her funeral.
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My Parents & Grandma
It was also such a blessing to have her pastor participate in the services. He is a pastor I have great respect for as he's been there for our family in some difficult times over the years. He and his sweet wife Debbie, have visited our Grandma so many times over the many years she fought Alzheimer's. He's such a faithful man of God and has a true heart for people. I think it's only fitting that I share the sacrifice he made just to be a part of her Celebration Service, as he was supposed to leave for a mission trip and decided he needed to be a part of Grandma's service and changed his flight just to be able to speak at her funeral. He pastors a large church and to me, that speaks volumes because we know he did not have to do that. (Our family thanks you for your sacrifice and faithfulness to the ministry)
The Birthday Card Story
One of our favorite stories her pastor shared at her service was the famous "Birthday card" her pastor once gave her joking that she was "90". Let's just say that this story was forever etched in her memory and we cannot tell you how many times we heard her say "My dear Pastor Carl thinks I'm 90". So her big joke became "When you're 90 like me...." (she would have turned 84 August 15)
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Our Last Moments with Grandma
As a family, we have been blessed with a godly heritage and are thankful for the final stories that emerged days after Grandma Almond passed away and for the last moments we had and were able to spend with her. Although Alzheimer's began to steal away every part of her, we were amazed and blessed to have moments up until the day she passed, where she would recognize us, could sing with us, and could still speak to us.
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My brother & Grandma
We are thankful that she never fully lost all of her memory and never went through some of the difficult stages of Alzheimer's that so many do watch their loved ones go through. So many of us were able to tell her goodbye- that we loved her and that we would see her again in heaven. |
Though she was so very weak and could not speak audibly very well those last 2 days, we could read her lips and see her tell us "goodbye", "love you too", and other sweet final words to her family. It was a difficult moment to experience in some ways, but we were blessed to have that. It is a rare treasure.
It was precious to watch her respond to the nurses and staff that surrounded her and teased with her up until her final hours on this earth. They liked to call her "Queenie" and "Almond Butter". Even Grandma would joke whenever she would say something funny and say she was "An Almond Nut". The staff had several nicknames for her and she was still getting feisty and would react with her hand motions even in her final 2 days, so you knew she was alert and she knew you were talking about her and would react accordingly. It was too funny to watch. There were a few times on the day that we thought we were going to lose her that she would raise her hands as if towards heaven...something tells me she knew then she was getting closer to that home than her current one. Her last several months she had begun to talk about her husband and Uncle Kenneth more and how she wanted to see them. She began to tell us she was tired and was ready to go home.
Stories of Her Legacy
The last day before she passed away, a gentleman who had a mother who was also at the assisted living home, stopped in and wanted to see her. That night he had on glasses like Jeff Gordon (who she adores) and when he came in and said, "Hey there- Jeff Gordon is here to see you" she perked up in her bed and opened her eyes- a reaction that was priceless for family and staff to watch since she was so weak at that moment.
This same gentleman, shared with us at her funeral that it took him months to realize that Grandma was not a staff member at the assisted living home, just because of her demeanor and the way she cared for everybody. He said she would often come down to his mother's room and visit her and him and ask if she could pray for them or she would bring her Bible down and read it to his mother. He said he cherished that and thought that was precious. Grandma was the "Scripture reader" at the Assisted Living Home and would read for the services or whenever asked. We'll always remember grandma's "reading chair" which of course always had her daily newspaper and for many years, the Guidepost, right beside her Bible-- because we all know she certainly had to have those close by as well.
Grandma's Routines & Food
Grandma was one of routine. Whether it was her house cleaning schedule or how she ate, you could pretty much predict her schedule. She would always have her glass of orange juice, small cup of coffee, and half a bowl of cereal while reading her paper, and then do her Bible reading. I can remember so many mornings seeing this at her home. (certainly this changed later as time went on and she wouldn't eat much) Our family can verify that Grandma might have been the pickiest eater we've ever seen. Really. We joked as a family that apparently there are things that won't kill you to eat, because they were basically her mainstay for so many years and she lived into her 80's so that must be saying something, right?! She was always picky about many foods, but her favorites were chicken, french fries, sometimes pork chops and of course her famous "chocolate pie". There was nothing she liked any more than chocolate pie. (though sweet potato pie would be a close second) It could be no more fitting than to have chocolate pie and a few other of her favorites at the dinner after the funeral-- she would have had it no other way. (and we wouldn't either)
Of course Pringles and Oreos became all that she would eat towards the last days of her life. Grandma always had to have something salty after something sweet, which in her case took the form of a Pringle. It was only a matter of minutes after she'd have something sweet with her meal, that she'd be rummaging in her cabinets looking for a Pringle.
What Made Grandma- Grandma
Grandma was a bowler and bowled in a league for years. I can remember trophy after trophy on her bookshelves downstairs. She was a hospital volunteer, which fit her so perfectly. She always had her weekly beauty shop appointment on Fridays and you knew exactly where to find her. That hair had to be kept "just so" along with her make-up and she'd always be "put together" each day. (with about 50% of her wardrobe being some variation of purple.) Grandma was also a night owl (hmm...and where did I get it from I wonder?) I can remember so many times calling her at 10pm when I was in college and just saying "I think I'm going to come over to stay the night" and she'd say, "Come on, I'm still up and just watching TV." She'd always tell you she never fell asleep until 2am, and when we caught her "napping", she'd always deny it.
She was THE social butterfly. I'm pretty sure if Grandma would have had Facebook, she would have had more friends on Facebook than you and me put together. This was just who she was- she never met a stranger. She wasn't afraid to say what she thought (which could be quite interesting sometimes). In the days before she moved to assisted living, she would just walk right into her neighbor's homes or have a neighbor over for coffee. I have no doubt she is making many new friends in the mansions beside her and down the streets of gold.
Haystacks & Cookies
Grandma loved to bake chocolate chip cookies and haystacks. I'm pretty sure she's probably already baked a batch for her neighbors in the mansion next door. Her haystack recipe will forever remain in our family and I'm proud to say that recipe won an award at a "Christmas cookie exchange" party I attended this past Christmas. (thank you, Grandma)
I can remember so many nights during my four years in college, of going over to Grandma's house and taking my roommates or other friends and baking cookies or haystacks with her. You couldn't come to her house w/out her wanting to make one or the other for you. (I'm pretty sure most of our family is hooked on them to this day.)
Dinner at Grandmas
You can't think of a visit to Grandma's without thinking of several of the things she would often serve you for dinner. She had a great macaroni salad she would make, deviled eggs (the way I liked them which was with nothing in them- which is a strange way I know- don't judge), homemade vegetable soup (of which I still make the recipe), and who could forget buttered corn. Cornbread and beans were also sure to pop up on occasion as did chocolate ice cream or an ice cream sandwich. Certainly, cooking waned as her memory would no longer allow her to cook. Of course a visit to Grandma's wasn't complete without offering Country Time lemonade or a Pepsi either upon entering her home or leaving- she always wanted to send one with you for the road. This was one of the first things my roommate Rebekah said when she found out my grandmother had passed, "Your grandma was always so kind to me and made me feel like a part of the family. I'll always remember her cookies and lemonade". It was hard to believe that only several hours after she found out I had lost my grandma, she lost hers as well. (our prayers go out to you as well, sweet friend) These are the memories I'll always have of Grandma's kitchen.
Her Music & TV
A close second to baking cookies or haystacks had to be listening to music. She was particularly fond of Southern Gospel music and for years would travel with her church senior's group to gospel sing after gospel sing (as she called them). She'd get into it let me tell you-- young concert attendees today have nothing on her. She could keep up with the best of them. For someone with Alzheimer's, she was able to sing the lyrics to so many songs even up until her final hours on this earth. I can recall many nights going to her house and spending the night and sitting on her bed with her watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and eventually the news (because we all know she would NOT miss the 11pm news) Between shows we would watch the Gaither Vocal Band or other Southern gospel groups. She loved watching these shows on TV or any music videos that she owned and she loved to sing along. Her favorite song was "Beulah Land" and just 2 days before she passed away, a sweet friend of ours came by with music and everyone sang with her. This of course was the song that was sung at her "Celebration Service". I have a feeling she was possibly singing along from the other side.
Going on a Date
Not only did she like to talk about music, Grandma would always joke about "a good looking man" coming to see her or to take her out on a date. She'd tell everyone that they went out and then went dancing and did the "Jitterbug". (of course this story was never complete without her often re-enacting the "jitter bug" dance) When we'd tease her about another man, she'd always remind us that she was just joking and "never loved anyone but her "dear late husband Howard" and would recount how they met on the 'D' Street bridge in Lynchburg and fell in love." She was quick to joke, but always let you know how much she loved Grandpa. Along with her stories, we had to laugh at how often she'd pull these funny pictures out of her purse that she would say were "her boyfriend". One was a funny laminated photo of a guy with a funny face and the other a wooden Indian she had taken a picture beside somewhere on a trip. (of course several of these stories emerged at her celebration service-- sorry Grandma!)
Jeff Gordon & Her Obsession with Racing
Jeff Gordon was another person that Grandma always talked about. We're not quite sure when it all started, but let's just say her refrigerator at her home was covered in stuff about Jeff Gordon and of course it didn't take long before Christmas ornaments, blankets, jackets and all types of memorabilia began showing up at Grandma's house as gifts from her friends, family, and others. It would only be fitting that on the day of her funeral, we would have her Jeff Gordon blanket inside the casket and a life-size cutout of Jeff Gordon, brought over as a gift from the staff at Runk & Pratt Assisted Living. This cutout moved around each day at the facility and the staff would tease Grandma by putting different notes on it each day.
How fitting that they would bring it back covered with sweet messages about our Grandma and some of her favorite "quotes" they heard her say time and time again while living there. Of course it wouldn't be complete without having a Pepsi, a Pringles can, and an Oreo package attached to it.
These notes from the staff who cared for our grandma were precious and I thought I would share some with you. Most of them were "famous Grandma Almond Quotes" we'd all heard numerous times or sweet messages written in her honor:
"This is my last purple pen, I want you to have it. I'll never write with a purple pen without thinking of you"
"Now you get to BE in Beulah Land"
"You will be missed- now you can have all the chicken breast and fries at the Lord's table"
"Thank you for sharing Ms. Almond with us-I couldn't come over without seeing a smile or sharing a laugh. The joy & memories she blessed so many with will last so long."
"I miss you asking for Pringles and Oreos. You'll always have a special place in my heart."
"Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your family"
"I will smile every time I see Oreos & Pringles because of you."
"Ms. Almond- you are now in the biggest mansion God has built, with purple wall paper!" [when my dad spoke at her funeral, he said she's probably already dusted and mopped her mansion in the first two days of being there-- she loved to keep her house clean and neat-- hmmm, I wonder who took after her?]
"Dear Queenie- I will always think about you."
"I will miss you my Almond Butter- love you."
"I like fried chicken, pork chops, french fries, and chocolate pie."
"BINGO!" [she loved playing her Bingo]
"Cold hands, warm heart, deep in love, yet far apart."
"Do I have any mail?"
"Do you have my newspaper?"
"If I could just sit on the front porch..." [she always wanted to escape the building and sit on the front porch]
"Ms. Almond- you will be missed. Now you can have all the sunshine you want." (she always loved sitting in the sun)
"I want a good looking man!"
"Call Sandra- I need $200 for the beauty shop and to get some stuff."
[she always wanted the staff to contact one of her daughters to get some money & she religiously had a beauty appointment every Friday to get her hair done for as many years as I can count. Nothing was scheduled on Friday because it was 'hair day'...though for clarification she did NOT need $200 for her hair appointment :) ]
"When you are 90 like me, you can do what you want."
I have never witnessed such a caring and incredible staff, particularly in those last few days as she was slipping from this life. Words cannot express our family's gratitude towards all that they did for her all four years she lived there and all that they did for our family those last few days we spent with her. As the staff would testify, she was more like staff than a resident for the majority of the time there, always wanting to help out with things, greeting people as they came in, folding laundry, wanting to bake cookies. She was so energetic and would talk to anyone, even if she told you the same stories time and time again. I know that she will be missed by their staff in a great way as well.
Our behalf of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and all of her family, we'd like to again thank each and every person who has prayed for us, sent cards, sent flowers, messaged us on Facebook, or called. Thank you to each person who came to honor her at her Celebration Service and who were there to support our family.
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| Her Children |
We appreciate each and every one of you and your thoughtfulness. We rejoice that she is now with her Savior, husband, son-in-law, and friends and family who have gone on before her.
Today she did not worship in a church service here on earth as many of us did, but today she worshipped in the presence of her Savior.
