Ladybug's First Halloween- Viewing it through Different Lenses

This weekend we took little peanut on her first ever Halloween rendezvous. 

For all she knew we were just taking another evening stroll around the neighborhood- except that you couldn't get too far before the sounds of giggling children and a few mysterious characters would suddenly emerge on the horizon. 

I often wonder what goes through toddler's heads regarding Halloween. I mean, let's be real, a two year old has no concept of what is about to happen really and probably wonders what happened to their comfy jammies and why in the world are my parents putting me in a weird outfit and acting like the paparazzi? (this momma would never be guilty of that, right?)  

I can only imagine what might go through those tiny little minds of theirs. I also wonder for a child who has lived their entire life in an orphanage, what the night must look like through their eyes for the first time. 

To suddenly be surrounded by a bunch of giggling and screaming children running down the street. 

To be coming face to face with a number of strangers - in crazy costumes no less.  

To have these weird glowing orange things out on porches. 

To have absolutely none or very little context for the majority of kid's costumes they see. (some that can be downright frightening if you run into the wrong kid)

To, in some cases, be able to have access to candy that is "all yours" and take as much as you want of it out of bowl when in the past all you've known is nothing is yours and everything is limited or there is never enough.

To experience candy for the first time.

To wear a costume for the first time. 

We have to admit, this weekend proved just how far she's come in the last 9 months since being placed in our arms. This was a girl who we couldn't, for the first month or so, even get to walk outside on the sidewalk without being frightened by everything. To think it took us several months to get to the point where even could even walk down our sidewalk together as a family.

Fast forward to Halloween night-- before the actual process started, little ladybug wanted to wander up and down the sidewalks and pretty much wanted to lead the way. She wanted to run in the grass...

(something she wouldn't even come close to doing for months when first coming home) She also wanted to pick up straw and act like a music conductor apparently!

She wanted to make silly faces and sniff the bush in front of the house...

It took about 4 houses before she would come out of her daddy's arms, 

but once she got the knack for this new little activity, she would point to the next house and then begin to walk up to the door and either knock or ring the bell.  Though she couldn't say 'Trick or Treat' she definitely knew something was up if someone didn't come to the door. She'd look at Nate and I as if to say, "Well that wasn't fun. Where's the guy with the candy?"  Of course, she still doesn't even know what candy is nor what it looks like (if only we could keep her that way forever, right?) but she knew she was getting "something" that was hers to put in her little treat bag she had made just days before.  

It was fun watching her face turn into all smiles when someone would give her candy or when she came to a house where you could "get your own" out of a bowl... she'd look as if to say "Hmm....I wonder if I can take as much as I want--do you think they'd mind if I took a few extra ones for momma and daddy?"

She was mesmerized by all the pumpkins (which was one of her newest words in the last two weeks) and especially the ones that were lit up. She was in awe of the people who had a little fire pit in the front yard and kept using her new word "fire" over and over again. (I think she may have liked the fire more than the actual candy process and decided those were her new favorite neighbors)

Halloween took on a whole new meaning seeing it for the first time through the eyes of a child who has never been a part of this little activity. If you are a social media person, you know that the whole afternoon and evening was filled with photos of cute little babies in costumes, of little toddlers and their siblings dressed as their favorite characters, who of course had made up their minds that they most certainly were not going to smile for their mommas who were taking the pictures. Facebook and Instagram feeds were filled with adorable faces, cute costumes, creative costume ideas, crazy adults, and cute kid pictures--you automatically knew that was pretty much all you were going to see if you viewed your Facebook or Instagram accounts that day of or the day following. (and let's be honest, most parents are guilty and there is nothing wrong in sharing your joy)

However, this day feels very different for many.  I could remember being in the adoption process and watching Halloween come around. Watching the Facebook pictures as they poured in and thinking "another year without our little one".  I would enjoy seeing the cute little eyes staring back at me on social media, but would find my mind often wandering and asking, "If she had been here this year, what would we have dressed her as? " "Would we have even gone out to trick or treat?" I have a new found sensitivity for those holidays and times of the year when I know it's a struggle for my friends who want oh so badly to have a little one, for my friends who have lost children, for my friends who have been told they can't have a child so are looking into what that might mean for their family. I know certain holidays can be fun for many people, but we often overlook those who on this day or other family or child related holidays, hurt deeply and long to be the one posting cute little photos of their little one in his zebra costume or watching their little girl twirl around in her princess dress. To be the daddy that gets to toss his little girl into the air or walk hand in hand with his son down the sidewalk both dressed as super heroes. 

For some it is more than they can handle and they feel crushed by the weight of what "might be" or "one day be" but isn't at this moment. Feelings of frustration, jealousy, anger, questioning....the list could go on and on about the various emotions that some of those around us may be feeling during these times. "Why isn't it our turn to post cute Halloween photos?" "When will we get to pick out a cute little costume for our little one?" "How much longer is God going to ask us to wait?"

These are just some of the many thoughts that many of those around us may be thinking on this holiday. Sure our friends rejoice with us and yes, they may enjoy looking at their Facebook feed because who can disagree that at Halloween pretty much every kid is just flat out cute? However, it doesn't change the fact that looking at their Facebook or Instagram feeds bring about some strong emotions tied to all that they are seeing and feeling during this holiday and longing for that missing piece in their lives and family. 

So while this is a fun time for many families and their children, let us always remember that not everyone is viewing Halloween through the same set of lenses. Let us be compassionate with those who need that extra dose of compassion or lend a listening ear for those who just need to just be heard. That listening ear or big hug might be just what they truly need from you following the weekend of Halloween.

That First Look into Her Eyes A Year Ago

A year ago today, we laid eyes for the first time on this sweet little one. 

I will never forget that feeling.  Let me rewind a little and go back to that very day…

I was at work and it was just your typical day, but extremely busy as I was taking off for two week to help lead a mission trip to Guatemala. Nate and I had joked a few months before when we committed to leading two teams back to back that wouldn’t it be funny (or not so funny) if we got a referral while we were in Guatemala? (knowing that it would be complicated and quite honestly they would unlikely be able to reach us anyway)  So on this very Wednesday, October 22, I had been working hard to try to get ahead on work and cover all the bases while I would be out when suddenly I looked down and my cell phone was ringing.

 It was our adoption agency. (Insert both excitement, panic, and shock!—well sort of, we were on alert and in our hearts knew we’d get the call soon, but you just never know exactly when to expect it)

For those of you who have given birth to a child, you know what it is like to wait for “that moment to arrive” – when you will see your child’s face for the first time. When you will suddenly realize that labor is beginning and things are going to start moving along at a fast pace that, quite honestly, you have absolutely no control over.  In the world of adoption, there are some experiences that parallel with this and “THE REFERRAL CALL” ,as it’s known in the world of adoption, is one of those moments.  The only tricky thing about “the call” is that much like a pregnant momma who experiences false alarms prior to giving birth, families can get a call and it still not always result in the start of “adoption labor” and doesn’t always result in the family’s final match of their child.  There are so many variables with international adoption, and particularly when families participate in a medical needs program. So many unknowns. So many decisions. (but we will leave that for another day and another post)

I hurriedly answered it and on the other end was one of the China staff members saying, “We have a match for you and would like to talk to you about a beautiful little girl!” I will admit my heart skipped a few beats because all I could focus on in the moment was where my mind was already racing to and apparently I had already begun carrying on a conversation with myself-- “Oh my goodness, I’m leaving the country for two weeks in just three days- how in the world will we find time to go through the review process, get information from doctors and her orphanage, and make a decision like this?!”  I listened to her as she shared the medical needs this little girl had, that she was currently 14 months old, and then she asked if we wanted to review the file. That part was easy- of course we did!  She then shared she would email everything to us to review and then I shared with her that I was just about to contact them, ironically, to alert them to us leaving the country “just in case” we got a referral and that communicating with us over those two weeks would be quite difficult if not impossible really.

I hung up the phone and sat stunned and excited, trying to process what had just happened.  Seriously? Did I really just get that call 3 days before leaving the country?

What??!!!  I immediately started having an internal conversation with God. Are you kidding, God? This kind of things happens to the clients I work with when I call them with their referrals- how in the world is this now happening to me? What kind of timing is this? I know you know that I don’t do well with making fast life-changing decisions, so why in the world would you allow them to call us three days before leaving the country?

I quickly came back to reality and called Nate and shared the news with him and asked him how quickly could he get home so we could look at her file together. He was shocked too, to say the least, and of course headed home a little later. Imagine having a giant present that you just CANNOT wait to open and yet have to exercise such an amazing amount of restraint not to open it or even take a little peak. That short hour seemed like days as I waited for Nate to arrive home. Let’s just say that the rest of my few hours at work were pretty much pointless as I could--

NOT

FOCUS

A

BIT.

Finally the moment came for us to pull up the email and review her file. That moment can be likened to that moment when you lay eyes on your child for the first time. It’s a rush like none other, but yet because it’s an adoption, you don’t know for sure that everything is going to work out and that you know for sure it’s going to be your child, etc.  There are just so many variables.

We opened the email and laid eyes on a sweet little face with dark, big, round eyes staring back at us (not to mention a cute, little, bald head). She was a tiny little one weighing only 15 pounds. A medical file that had some big unknowns in it as well as some known things.  

We just sat there and stared.

We took in every word.

We read every detail.

We hung on every description.

We were drawn in, but ever-so-cautiously with guarded hearts.

And then we talked. We talked into the early morning hours about how this would look. How could we make a decision? What else did we need before we made a decision? Would our team of doctors we had established for this big moment, even be able to provide feedback before we left the country so that we could even confirm that with our agency? So, so many questions.

Then I had read this on that very day—

“I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths they have not known- I’ll guide them. I will turn darkness into light, and rough places into level ground. These are the things that I do- I do not forsake them.”

I then realized, there are just things that we may not know. There are things that God will make clear. (I knew that in my head, but it just hadn’t made its way fully into my heart) That night we forwarded her file to three doctors, one of which was the leader of our local International Adoption Clinic and two others who had experience with adoptions from China and who had adopted as well. We told them our situation and that we were leaving the country in 3 days and desperately needed to have answers and, at the very least, needed to know from a medical standpoint, what additional questions to ask the orphanage so that we could obtain important updates and ask more about her health, etc. We knew there were some questionable things in her file that were concerning and unclear, so we wanted to ask questions and get clarity.

The day before we left for Guatemala, we heard back from doctors some who had good things to say, but also had to share with us some concerns and risks we needed to know about moving forward. There could be some other big medical needs that they wouldn’t be able to confirm until she was actually examined stateside. We had to be ok with those risks and unknowns.

Ok God, we knew adoption was a faith-walk, but did you really have to add in an extra piece like this- another unknown variable requiring us to make the decision of our lives all the while not knowing exactly where that decision might lead if we say yes?

We called our agency to let them know that we received feedback from doctors and there were some big questions that they needed to ask for us and some updates we really needed in order to make a final decision. (even though at this point we just almost knew in our hearts it would be yes) We told them responding from Guatemala would be very difficult and we likely not have Internet connection that was reliable. We also knew that as a team we “unplug” while on mission, so that we can fully focus on God, our team, and our serving while in country, so connecting via email at any given time would be very hard to do.

So with that, we left the country with our team headed to Guatemala to serve for a week, later to be joined by our second team on week two.  We were so excited about our trip, yet it was so hard to focus and keep this big news a secret, but we knew we had to since we had not yet given our agency a decision.  Try hanging out 24 hours a day for two straight weeks with a bunch of people you’ve come to know and love over the past several months and have such a big secret resting on your shoulders, yet not sharing it with a single person. Add to that finding out upon arrival in country that you would not be sharing a room with your spouse at any point on the trip, so quiet moments together alone would be few and far between. When and how would we even talk about this if we did get an update?

 There were oh so many times while in Guatemala where it would have been so easy to accidentally slip up and say something.  I’ll never forget one night walking down to dinner several on our team asked us all sorts of questions about adoption and our decision to adopt, etc. Talk about a hard conversation! It wasn’t until we later announced our adoption of “Little One” that several people later told us that they felt something was different about us those weeks, but they just couldn’t put a finger on it.  (of course this made us smile big)

Oh the thoughts that went through my head that week as we served in our village.

I’ll never forget thinking as we walked along the dusty path through the middle of the village our church adopted, that there was a little girl from another village on the opposite side of the world who now needed a family.  A girl whose face just three short days ago, we had never seen- whose name we had never heard; yet, whose face we could not get out of our minds no matter how hard we tried.

I remember celebrating our very first church service in the village in the building we had just constructed on the very day that Orphan Sunday is celebrated globally and thinking, wow- at this very moment as we stand here worshipping with believers in this tiny village in Guatemala- all around the world in churches around the globe believers are banding together for the cause of the orphan, sharing God’s plan for adoption both physically and spiritually, and sharing how the Bible admonishes believers to care for the orphan, the widow, and the poor.  What was even more interesting was that Orphan Sunday 2014 was being filmed and shot on location in another part of Guatemala at the very timeframe we were in our village in a church service…coincidence? - I don’t think so.

As we spent time each day in our village, I distinctly remember walking past thatched roof and homes with walls made of sticks and thinking, “What was her past like?” “What kind of home did she come from in China?” “Who found her at a month old abandoned?” 

I remember holding abandoned babies who were very ill, but who were now in a hospital on the campus of the ministry where we were serving... babies who were being nursed back to health and who, for many, would be sent to the orphanage on campus to be cared for in the months to come. I remember thinking “I wonder what their stories are?”  “I wonder if this child will ever see their mom or dad again?”  “I wonder if this child I’m holding is the size she is?”  

Question and question filled my mind for the entire two weeks. (and lest you doubt, I was able to focus on ministry that week, albeit a bit clouded at times with personal thoughts and moments to process)

Then the day finally came.

I could check email and saw that we had received an update from our agency. This was it! The information Nate and I had been waiting for! Then to our dismay, we couldn’t get any of the attachments to open, no videos to play, and could only make out part of the email for a short time while the internet cooperated that basically said we need a decision by Friday or we cannot guarantee this child’s file to your family.

What? Suddenly, we realized we would head back to the states not knowing whether we’d now have the chance to even confirm that she was our little one.  We would not be able to meet the requested deadline and would have to wait until we entered the states late that Saturday and with hopes, send an email to our agency that weekend, knowing they would not receive it until Monday.  When I shared this with Nate he was just calm and said, “If it’s God’s will, she’ll still there on Monday and it will all work out.”  (all the while I’m thinking- HOW IN THE WORLD can you be so calm about this, right NOW, knowing we have pictures and video and can’t see them and could lose her file and are under the pressure of this and just the day to day difficulties of being overseas serving, etc. – hey, they say adoptive mommas get crazy and stressed too during their “paper pregnancy”, so this probably proved that!)

That’s when a little 5-letter word that we are all so familiar with came to mind.

Faith.

If there is one word that describes adoption, it is faith.  Even one of the International Adoption Clinic doctors we spoke with right before leaving for Guatemala said this very thing during our referral review about international adoption, “I truly believe adoption is a walk of faith, it can be hard with limited information, but you must know what you can handle.”

-Faith in the unseen and the unknown

-Faith in knowing God has a bigger plan in mind

-Faith in knowing he has her in His very hand on the other side of the world

-Faith in knowing that if God calls, He will equip us for every last thing we could possibly ever face

-Faith in knowing God knew all of these details well before the beginning of time and He’s got every single detail under control.

Every. Single. One.

Little did I know that the entire two weeks in Guatemala, God had given Nate this very same word- faith- and had been telling Him, let go and just trust Me.

So, two weeks after our feet had walked the dusty roads of Guatemala, we arrived back home and our feet walked among familiar people and upon familiar ground.We could access our email easily and finally see those updates that had been sitting in our inbox for a week.

It was decision time.

Time to send that all-important email to our agency Sunday night.  We talked and both agreed God had used our trip to open our eyes to faith, trust, and to accept.  Though there were some big unknowns in our “yes” to this little one, we both felt God saying and reminding us of what “Fear, Trust, and Surrender” looks like and to take that leap of faith.

So on National Adoption Day, we made the final decision to make this little one a part of our family.

The following day while waiting to hear from our agency, I just couldn’t work. I took off an extra day to just rest and felt the need to continue to hear from God. That day God gave amazing things that to this day, provided an overwhelming sense of peace and trust in our decision like I never could have imagined.

Here are just some of the lyrics from worship songs I listened to (by no choice of my own- just random sampling that day on Pandora):

“You are peace, you are peace, when my fear is crippling…”

“…where fear surrounds me, you’ve never failed and you won’t start now- lead me where my trust is without borders, help me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me- take me deeper than my feet would ever wander, where my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior…”

“…I know who goes before me…”

“I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all..my soul surrendered- all I am is yours…

“Who makes the orphan, a son or daughter…”

“Bring your doubts, bring your fears…”

“I surrender all to you…”

The Daily Oswald Chambers reading that day- -

As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you can’t be completely aligned to or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord. I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me.  God is using me from His great perspective and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, “Lord, this causes me such great heartache”. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will without hindrance. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and in His goodness.”

Other verses read that day:

“ I will praise the Lord…blessed is He whose hope is in the Lord… who keeps faith forever…who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry… the Lord lifts those who are bowed down…The Lord watches over the sojourner and He upholds the widow and the orphan…  -- Psalm 146

“Fear not...when you pass through the waters, I’ll be with you…they won’t overwhelm you…

“Fear not… I am with you. I will bring your offspring from the East…”

“…Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth…

Verse after verse that day spoke truth to my heart and gave me a peace that could only come from Him. Were there still concerns in our heart and things we wouldn’t know for months until we brought her home and things we may not know for years to come?

Absolutely.

Yet we were being held together by the one thought and promise that God was completely in control of every last detail.

Just. Trust. Me.

There are some amazing things that followed on the heels of our decision. Things that I will save for another post for another day. What we can say emphatically is that God truly was in every last detail of our adoption and we can look back now with eyes wide open that He did above and beyond anything we could have ever imagined and brought a little girl into our family that we could now never imagine living without.

“Unto Him who is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that we ask or imagine…unto Him be the glory…” - - Ephesians 3:20a-21a

Guess Who is Turning Two Soon

As we sit here not the eve of our little one's birthday tomorrow, it's hard to believe that little one is about to turn two tomorrow.

TWO ya'll! (watch out) Just typing those very words makes my heart skip a beat.

We've been in planning mode for the last couple of weeks to get things in order for her birthday party. Funny thing is, the summer was just rolling along with its normal string of events and the bustle of activities and suddenly before we knew it we were about a month out from her birthday and we hadn't even started thinking about what we wanted to do nor had begun any planning. (this coming from someone who loves to plan in advance-yikes!) 

We started thinking about this being her first birthday that we will have the privilege of celebrating with her, and wanted to make it a special day. I guess you could say, it's like her "first birthday" to celebrate with her forever family. (and let's be honest, we won't  likely do another bigger one until peanut is 16) 

We started thinking about what we wanted to do for her party--what did she like? What are her favorites? What has she sort of latched onto in these last 5 months since living in our home?  We quickly realized that many of the typical things you'd find at a child's two year old birthday, she has no understanding of. She doesn't know Nickelodeon characters or Disney or anything affiliated with it. She hasn't seen Frozen yet.( but I know "little miss music" will LOVE it when we finally do watch it) She's not been exposed to many of the common things that little ones start off early learning about, playing with, or begging for while shopping in the stores with their mommas. So where did that leave us?

Well.... we sat back after thinking a minute and knew that Brielle loves:

Bubbles
Pinwheels
Flowers
balloons 

**bubbles, flowers, and balloons were among her first English words ironically

It's a bit of a random grouping, but hey-- we can work with that. We sort of took this thought and from it decided to go with something that looked like flowers or pinwheels or bubbles. So, since momma finds it very therapeutic to do crafts and make things, it was off to grab some paper at the store that had some patterns that favored "bubbles and flowers" and get a little bit of fabric with a similar thought in mind. (dots, abstract patterns, etc.)

Nate may laugh at me sometimes, but I have my "party box" that I keep for times like this when we're hosting something, or throwing a shower, etc. So off to the box I went to see what all was in there just waiting to be used. Well, I may get teased by my husband about what I keep sometimes to re-use, but trust me, when it comes to art/craft supplies, you can reuse a lot of things you keep on hand and I hate wasting and can always find a use for something. While digging through the box, I found ribbon and washi tape from other projects I've done, glue dots, (if you don't know what these are, you haven't lived life-- best item they ever created!) items from our wedding (yes, that was 8 yrs ago but some things still come in handy!), yarn from projects for Brielle, frames from her nursery and play room, and by the time it was all said and done-- we came up with a party idea based off of objects in our home that we could pull and use alongside a few crafts made out of paper and fabric. (did I mention we like to save money, too?) 

We decided to pull colors from her nursery and playroom, so that we could re-use anything that was made for her birthday party.  Since we already had some things we could work with, it just made sense (and saved a lot of time since time is of utmost importance most days while living the "toddler life")

So, with just a bit of "treasure hunting" around the house and going through the trusty craft drawers and the "party box", we were set with a plan with a lot of fun details. This momma loves a plan and thankfully details just happen to be "my thing", as I realize most people probably hate detailed projects or thinking through lists, and just the very thought for some might make them break out in hives. It energizes me- call me crazy, right?

So, thanks to little one's wonderful and patient daddy, this momma had a few evenings to work on some craft projects for her birthday that will act as nursery/play room decor additions later. (gotta' be strategic!)

So, despite some setbacks with the birthday party and our original plans for the day, we are excited to soon celebrate the life of one of God's most amazing gifts to us. We know she really won't remember much about this first birthday with us. We realize she might not even want to put her hands anywhere near a cupcake since she likes her hands clean. We laugh because she probably couldn't even tell you how old she is turning, but hey-- she's still learning English, right? 

What we do know is this--tomorrow as she turns two, we will celebrate life. 

• We will celebrate that God had a beautiful plan for her life and one that we will continue to see unfold in the years to come.
• We will celebrate the joy that she brings to our lives and the lives of others
• We will celebrate with thankfulness that He has brought her to this second year of her life, even if it involved a bumpy road full of medical needs, sicknesses, medical appointments, and overcoming difficulties 
• We will celebrate, but always remember there is someone on the other side of the world who likely will be thinking of her on this very day and would love to know that she is taken care of 

We are so blessed to have you, little one, in our lives and can't wait to celebrate the gift of you, Brielle!

God Kisses- An Unexpected Surprise by Mail

Sometimes in life there are moments that you can look back at and know immediately that it was a "God moment". Throughout our adoption process both while we waited to be matched, during our time in China when we met our daughter, and most recently in this post-placement stage, we've continued to see those moments that have come to be known as "God kisses". 

"God kisses".

You know, those sweet little "extras" that God pours out on you when He certainly didn't have to. Those tangible little moments or things that you know could only come from Him- moments that point to an all-perfect God that is so concerned with every little detail, even the littlest details- that He thinks of something that even you wouldn't have thought of if you could have orchestrated it.

That's what our family received several weeks back. Several little "God kisses".  

It was an ordinary day. Nothing special going on and we had been home from China for about two months. I was getting dinner ready when Nate came home from work, walked in the door and asked me if I had ordered something. I looked at him funny and said, "No, why do you ask?" He then pulled up a huge brown flat package and said, "This was at the front door."

Curious, I took it from him and looked at the return label which showed that it was mailed from "Show Hope." I couldn't imagine what would be in such a large flat package and knew we weren't expecting anything from them.  

In case you've forgotten from previous posts, SHOW HOPE is the Christian organization in the Nashville area founded by music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. Show Hope was founded to help with orphan care initiatives such as adoption grants, orphan care/surgeries, orphan advocacy, and most importantly for us- to provide care centers in China to help children with medical needs who need additional care, surgeries, etc. above and beyond what the orphanage can provide. When we were matched with our little one, we soon discovered that she was in one of these 5 care centers in China (hers was on the fifth floor of her orphanage- run by Show Hope and New Hope Foundation).  She was receiving much needed additional care for her medical needs, for which we are abundantly grateful. You can read more about the amazing things we found out about our daughter and the way that Show Hope played such a huge part in our daughter's life by reading our post HERE.

Fast forward a few months later when we have our little one home and this package arrives at our doorstep. I carefully opened it as I soon noticed a note that said "X-rays- Do Not Bend". I was suddenly curious as I couldn't figure out why we would be receiving X-rays by mail, but as I opened up the package I suddenly realized it was more than X-rays.

We had been mailed all of our daughter's original MRI's directly from her orphanage in China to Show Hope and then on to us. A package full of "MRI film" poured out onto our kitchen table---

(future doctor in the making, perhaps?)

---but that wasn't all.

We looked further into the envelope and another packet of items were deeper inside. We had been sent a wonderful booklet about all of Show Hope's work sharing about the amazing life-change they've seen over the years. 

Then we found original segments of our daughter's referral information with medical tests we had seen before, but these sheets were from New Hope Foundation's intake notes they had written on her when they completed her medical exam. These documents had original handwritten notes on her paperwork, written by those who had cared for her in China. We then noticed several other items paper-clipped to these documents.

More "God Kisses"...

Attached were several laminated ID tags in several different sizes. I immediately recognized the photo and layout as we had seen it at her orphanage when we visited and I had quickly snapped a photo of it. 

It was her bed identification tag that we had seen in her room. I was beyond curious by this point that when I realized what I thought we were holding. I quickly sent an email to Show Hope to ask if they could share what these were and confirm, since I was unsure of why we had been sent several of the same item in different sizes. They went on to explain that they had sent us the original identification laminated tags that had been used in China for her bed and used with the few belongings that she had at her orphanage, so that her items didn't get mixed up with other children. (i.e. her bottle, etc.) 

"God kisses".

It's rare to receive much information on your little one, much less to receive the original MRI's taken in China and her ID tags for her few belongings and her crib. I know many a family that I've both worked with or known personally as friends who would give anything to receive something like that for their little one's history and especially to have for their medical history. 

However, we haven't reached the cherry on the top of this story yet. (shocking, I know)  The "God kisses" aren't over yet. There's one more to share. 

A few days later we received an email with a surprise invitation from Show Hope sharing that Steven Curtis Chapman and Mary Beth were inviting all of the families who have had children cared for in one of their care centers in China, to join them for a private reunion in Nashville at the Chapman Family Barn to celebrate all that God has done over the years and all of the lives changed through adoption. (picture "day of fun for kids and families" in your mind ) 

We didn't think we would be able to make this happen, then Nate came home a few weeks back to share that he'd worked out all of the details and we were going to go and be a part of this and meet other parents at this adoption reunion. So exciting!

.....and that's what we will be doing. We will have the privilege of visiting the Show Hope offices, meeting the staff and thanking them for the wonderful care they provided for our daughter. The following day we will meet other families who have also been impacted by all of the wonderful things that Show Hope is doing in China. We will share in the joy of being reunited with several families from our recent travel group in February who will also be attending this event. 

And if all of that wasn't enough excitement, we were asked to be filmed and share our story-- the story that HE so beautifully wrote. You can be praying for that this weekend too, that God will give us the words to say that will bring Him glory and praise for all that He has done. (and pray that our little peanut cooperates in this endeavor-- this is where I'm tempted to consider inserting a number of emoticons for your enjoyment, but I'll let your imagination run wild with the random faces I might be making right now just thinking about a one and a half year old sitting/participating in a 45 minute interview process-lol)

We are beyond blessed to have the opportunity to add one more piece to the story of our daughter's life- to have another tangible moment and memory to share with her down the road.

We are excited to take a little mini-trip to Nashville and grateful for all that God has done to make this possible. (and yes, you can say a little prayer for us as this will be our first road trip of any distance with Little Miss since we've been home these past three months) Our hearts are more than full and we don't ever want to take any of these "God Kisses" for granted and what they mean to our family and the life of our daughter.