Because of the dynamics of internet in China, we were unable to share our daily blog posts which we journaled for each day's experiences while we traveled to meet "B". The following is what was written February 2, 2015 after Gotcha Day:
It’s hard to put into words exactly what “Gotcha Day” looks
like. For most families, this day is the culmination of everything they’ve
worked towards for such a long time. Everything they’ve anticipated, dreamed
of, and prayed towards throughout their adoption process. This morning we woke up and both Nate
& I had both feelings of excitement and nerves as we had no idea what this
day might bring. How would she
react to us? Would she cry and grieve hard? Would she come to us easily? A million questions flooded our minds
this morning.
As we prepared to meet our daughter, we took one last moment
in our hotel room to pray for her and for this exciting day and give it
entirely over to the Father who we know has been in complete control of every
step of this process. We left the
hotel around 9am and filed into our bus to head to the office where we
would be handed our children. Here is just one of the short video clips from that morning:
As our guides began to share with us what to
expect, you could feel the anticipation, anxiousness, and excitement building
with every mile we drove.
As we pulled into the parking lot and started to exit the
bus, our guide suddenly shared that four of the babies were already in the
building waiting. No one knew whose children were already there, so you could
see everyone suddenly thinking to themselves, “Is it my child?” “Where is my
camera?” “Am I ready for this? (of course we had to shoot a quick video even though we were hurrying to get inside- trust us, this is only one of a few funny video moments and we can assure you some will never be seen on this blog! lol)
As we walked up the stairs and into the building with our hearts
pounding, we entered a large room full of people. We were told it would be a bit
chaotic and to expect a lot of noise, a crowded room, crying children, etc. Within
minutes we realized our daughter was not among the four already there, but had
the joy of witnessing these first four children united with their forever
families. Tears of joy streamed many faces as we watched one by one, child
after child handed over to their “mamas” and “babas” (dads).
Having worked for 10 years in the international adoption
field and witnessed many a “Gotcha Day” video and story, nothing truly compares
to standing right there in the middle of it all and seeing these precious
children handed to their families and knowing ours was to come.
We were told that for our group it would be about an hour or
hour and half for this to all be completed and then we would head back to our
hotel for some down time with our child.
As minutes ticked by and our anxiousness continued to build, we soon
realized an hour and a half had already gone by and our daughter still had not
arrived. To say that we were on
pins and needles would be an understatement. We continued to watch each car or van pull up, caregiver or
orphanage director bring the child(ren) into the room and hand them over to the
new parents.
For many children, it was a traumatic day. We watched as
some children screamed and cried as they were handed over to their
parents. Some kicked and fought
their new parents and some arched their backs and pulled their bodies as far away
from their new family as was possible. It was what we all know can occur on this
day, but to see it unfold was harder to watch than I had imagined.
Two hours later, we were still waiting for our little one.
Though I had a few moments of tears of joy for several of the families
receiving their little ones, I suddenly had “my moment” where I could not
contain it in. Most that know me know that I’m not the typical “crying girl”,
but between the excitement, fear, and uncertainly of what was to come and then
witnessing an older little girl have to say goodbye to her foster family and
watch that foster family struggle to leave her, my heart just broke and the
tears began to flow. We often
focus on how this day is for us and for our child; yet, we often forget how very
hard this day is for those who were caregivers and who poured into and loved on our children. The nannies or foster families
have loved on these children for months or even years and suddenly have to say
goodbye to little ones they’ve grown to love as their own.
My heart broke on this day as I thought about the ones who
had cared for our little girl. For the family or mom who had to make the choice
to give up their little boy or girl- maybe because of poverty or maybe because they
could not afford to provide the medical care he or she will need for their
medical condition; yet, they chose life for their child even amidst the most difficult of decisions. We will never
know the full story of the “why” but on this day my heart grieved for these
individuals too, even in the midst of the joy of what was to come.
Our guide pulled us over to finally share with us that our
little ones were on the way, but would not arrive until around noon. She said
that they had tried to get train tickets for the children, but could not do so
due to Chinese New Year and the crowded trains so they had to leave the
orphanage at 5am to drive the little ones to meet us. I guess you could compare this moment to what it feels like
to be in the hospital just waiting for labor to begin and for word that “ the
little one has entered the world”.
I found myself pacing the floor of the big room and trying to make small
talk with those who had already received their children while waiting for “B’s”
arrival.
Nate continued to stalk the doorway as he wanted to film her
arrival and we watched through the glass door for a van to arrive with our
little ones. Finally around 12:30 our children pulled in the parking lot. Our hearts began to race with the uncertainty
of what was to come.
This was THE moment.
THIS
Was
Gotcha
Day.
As “B” entered the building, she was so bundled up we
couldn’t see a face and at first even the staff couldn’t tell who she was. Nate
was standing facing her and looked at me and said, “That’s her!” We walked over
to where she was being held by staff from her orphanage and waited for cues
from her to try to allow them to hand her over to us. As the gentleman put her
down from holding her and tried to have her stand on the floor and come to us,
she burst into tears and started crying hard. They quickly picked her up and she continued to cry and then
they looked at us and started to hand her over. My mind was racing, “Are we going to be that family?” The
one that has the most difficult experience on Gotcha Day? (even though we all prepare for the worst)? “Will she scream and cry all the way
back to the hotel?”
Words cannot describe what transpired in that Divine moment.
As they placed her into my arms with Nate standing by my side...
...suddenly the
tears that were flowing and fear she was experiencing, was so quickly replaced
with a calm that words cannot describe.
There is but one word to describe that moment.
GOD.
God showed up that day in a powerful way and was present in
that room- of that I am convinced. We know without a doubt the thousands of prayers that had
been prayed in advance of that day and on that day were so amazingly answered in
that moment. She slowly calmed and just stared with a puzzled look--no eye contact and emotionless. There were no
more tears and no crying, only tears that were in her eyes as if she was
ready to cry, but couldn’t.
We each signed a few documents, took our family photo for her adoption certificate and within minutes we were off.
Looking back, we were so thankful that she arrived when she
did, even if we did have to be the last family and wait for over 2 ½ hours for
her arrival. For others who had to wait this long with their children, it was
difficult. The children were all so exhausted and ready to go, so we are
thankful that by her arriving late, she had less stress in that moment. We were also amazed at the fact that
she would allow Nate to hold her and take a few photos with her. That is rare. We
were beyond blessed by that “cherry on the top” that God allowed on this day.
The remainder of today, we spent time in the hotel room
getting to know “B” and working on attachment with her. In the afternoon, we
signed more paperwork for her that would be processed to make her adoption
legal on Tuesday, February 3. They
also used our thumbprints as part of the signature for her paperwork and then
her footprint was printed on her document.
These items were signed with the following day's date and would be delivered
tomorrow to the notary office after we received the adoption certificate in
order to finalize the paperwork for her adoption.
It was a full and emotionally charged day for everyone, but
one that we will never forget. As the night drew to a close, we did a simple
cloth "bath" beside the sink since we wanted to ease “Bri” into our “American” way of bath time and we didn’t want to scare her with her very first bath. Even taking off her clothes and starting a “bath”
slightly scared her and her eyes started tearing up and her lips started to
quiver, so we followed her cues and wiped her down quickly and got her ready
for bed. Within a few short
moments, she quickly snuggled with Nate and he put her on his chest and within
minutes she fell asleep.
We are so
blessed as this was such a contrast to what we were seeing many of the other families experience
today. Our hearts truly hurt for so many of them. As we drifted off to sleep, you could hear the eery sounds of children screaming and crying as it echoed throughout the hallway.
To say we were truly blessed on this first day is an understatement.
We can tell you that from the moment we saw her in that
crowded room, there was a love for her that was indescribable. o watch Nate fall in love with a
little girl halfway around the world that would become our daughter cannot be
fully put into words. I think from that brief moment she looked into his eyes on
“Gotcha Day”, she had his heart. (and hey, who could look at those eyes &
not fall in love, right?)
Thank you to each and every person who has prayed for us and
for “Bri” for the last almost three years. We are blessed beyond words and so
thankful to now have her in our arms. We still stand amazed at how He chose us
to be her parents and for how God led us on this journey of adoption. We are so
thankful for His provision and for those He also called to join us in following
His mandate to “care for orphans and the fatherless.”
Psalm 68:5
“A Father to the fatherless…is God in his holy habitation.”
Psalm 146:9
“…He upholds the fatherless and the widow…”
Today, "B" transitioned from being known by most as an orphan...
...to a much loved daughter and member of our forever family.
To God be all the glory!
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