Reflections written on her official adoption day while in China. Videos included may not be able to be viewed on mobile devices and may need to be viewed via the blog from a computer or may take a moment to load:
(2/3/15)
(2/3/15)
Today I get to share my birthday with what will become an
important day in the life of our daughter. Today, she will officially become
ours in the eyes of both the U.S. and China. Today, she will receive a new name, our name. Today we will receive documentation
that will reflect this process and show that she is legally our daughter. We posted a short video below of this moment.
There is nothing that she
or anyone else can do after today to change that.
She’s ours forever.
Today, as we’ve reflected on the beauty of what is happening
today, we can’t help but for the first time truly understand what it means when
God chose to adopt us in Christ as his own daughter or son, for those who have
made the decision to follow Him.
Just as in the moment of a physical adoption, it’s truly a mystery and a
process that can’t quite be summed up into words. In much the same way, our
adoption by God at the moment of salvation is such an amazing picture. I can
more fully understand now why He chose to use that analogy a number of times in
the Bible.
As we met Brielle yesterday, we brought her back to the
hotel and we knew she needed a diaper change. It’s a common practice in China
to “bundle” a child, which means they are always in layer after layer of
clothing and generally wear many layers even in the middle of the summer when
it is hot. Chinese ladies will
come up to you in the street and “scold” you if your little one isn’t bundled
enough. The Chinese believe they will get sick if they are not layered and if
skin shows, so to say she was about four times her actual size with all of the
clothes they had on her would be an understatement.
One of the first things that families often do too quickly
is to take everything that is familiar and comforting to the child and strip
them from the clothing that they are wearing on “Gotcha Day” because they feel
they need to bathe them or change their clothes immediately. For “B”, we tried to do this rather
slowly on the day that we received her so that she was still surrounded by
something that was “hers”- something that was familiar. When we got to the hotel room we realized
that she was soaked through layer after layer, as we had initially noticed when
they handed her to us. (but which
was understandable seeing they had traveled for over 7 hours with four children to meet us) So as
you can imagine, she was in great need of a diaper change.
As we began changing her diaper and taking off her lower
layers of clothing in order to change her, I couldn’t help but reflect on the
beautiful analogy of adoption and salvation again in that moment. There we were taking off these very
soiled clothes- clothing that was a bit worn with rips/stains only to replace them with new
clothing. Removing the old and
replacing it with the new.
In the same way, that’s what God does, he looks at us as orphans, as those without a loving Father- as those still clothed in our dirty, stained and sinful “clothing” and wants nothing more than to clothe us in His righteousness at the moment of salvation. He wants to give us a new name, to call us His son or daughter. He wants to make us into a new creation- old things are passed away and all things become new.
In the same way, that’s what God does, he looks at us as orphans, as those without a loving Father- as those still clothed in our dirty, stained and sinful “clothing” and wants nothing more than to clothe us in His righteousness at the moment of salvation. He wants to give us a new name, to call us His son or daughter. He wants to make us into a new creation- old things are passed away and all things become new.
In a beautiful way, our salvation/ adoption in Christ has taken
on a new meaning for us. We now more fully understand how God is able to look
past our past, who we were or used to be and chooses to accept and love us as
we are. Like an orphan, He knows
we were without a spiritual family- without a Father, but was willing to love
us unconditionally for who we are, no strings attached. He was willing to give us a new name
and take us in as a part of His family and in doing so, we inherit everything. There
was nothing we could do to earn that, it was freely given to us as a gift just
as an orphan can do nothing to earn his/her place in a family, it is a gift
given to them by the family who chooses to make them their son or daughter.
It has been our prayer ever since the beginning of when God
called us to adopt, that He would be glorified through this process and our
little one’s life and story. It is our prayer that those who don’t know Christ
or have not yet experienced the joy of salvation would come to know Him or more
fully understand God’s perfect plan of adopting us in Christ.
Today has been a day of watching “B’
trying to figure out who we are and how to respond to us. A day of many firsts. She continues to
have the same expression we saw in every referral and update photo- that blank
and solemn stare. If there were a staring contest, I promise you she’d win it.
There
are no smiles and she still struggles to eat and has very little interest in
most foods, even those that were listed in her paperwork. Rice congee seems to be her “go to”
since that is what she ate a lot of in the orphanage, so thankfully she
continues to eat that consistently.
We keep looking for other foods she will eat (both Chinese and American)
and she has certainly tried quite a few, but we are coming to realize that she
has very little experience chewing foods and isn’t quite sure what to do with
many of the small things we’ve tried feeding her. Even allowing her to
self-feed hasn’t gone so well and she doesn’t seem to know to take the food
item from her hand and put it in her mouth. We know she will learn in time. We are thankful that she
does take her bottle very well and we were blessed that her orphanage brought
us her bottle that she’s been using at the orphanage and gave to us along with
the type of formula she is used to. It is great to have this little piece of her history to keep.
It was so tiny and had a little Chinese label with her name. Her bottle nipple was pretty much chewed through, so we were able to gradually transition her to a bottle we brought and that went very well, though she likes to hold her the bottle herself most of the time. (as this is commonly taught to children in orphanages since there can be many little mouths to feed all at one time)
It was so tiny and had a little Chinese label with her name. Her bottle nipple was pretty much chewed through, so we were able to gradually transition her to a bottle we brought and that went very well, though she likes to hold her the bottle herself most of the time. (as this is commonly taught to children in orphanages since there can be many little mouths to feed all at one time)
She has also started to sound a bit worse with her breathing
and came to us with a bit of congestion in her nose and what now sounds a
little like her lungs. We are monitoring that closely and have shared that with
the guides so that a doctor can see her or obtain medication if necessary.
Unfortunately, what we brought with us for her, we found we can’t use now as
the pharmacy mixed it incorrectly and it has now expired.
We are thankful that she is giving us some eye contact, but
she is very clear when she doesn’t want more food given or doesn’t want
something. She will slightly close her eyes and pull her head away from us
indicating she doesn’t want what we are trying to give her. We were excited today
to see her try to make a few faces at herself when she saw her reflection in a mirror, for
what might have been the very first time. She tried to wave at herself and stick
out her tongue and make faces. At one point, when she first saw herself holding a toy, she pulled it away as she thought it was another child getting ready to take her toy. It was pretty cute to watch.
We know these next few days are important ones as we
continue to take cues from her, learn more of who she is, and she learns more
and more to trust us. We know that
she is still grieving and anticipate this could last a while, but we can’t wait
to see a big smile break through on that sweet little face! At least today she
did try to talk when we weren’t looking at her, which was great to hear, even
if we have absolutely no idea what she is trying to say.
Tomorrow we head to her birth city to apply for her
passport. We may also have the opportunity to visit her orphanage as well,
which could be both a positive or negative experience. For many adoption professionals, this can be
a topic of debate as to whether or not it is good for the child as it can
confuse them or could cause a child to withdraw more after seeing their
caregivers. Sometimes it goes very
well, but not always. Regardless, it’s important to go in with a “plan” of what
we will do and whether we will both go in and meet staff and see her previous
home, or whether only one of us will go inside. We plan to see how tomorrow
goes and make that decision upon arrival depending on how she seems to be
doing. We know there could be some
helpful info we could glean by going, so are prayerful it works out. We know it
is a large piece of “her story” and want to be able to better share with her
later, when she has questions, what we may have seen or learned there.
Hoping for a great day tomorrow and especially a good trip
with her and the three other families, as we all will have a long travel day on the bullet train to
her home city.
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