Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Visiting Her Orphanage & Birth City- (2.4.15)

Reflections from the day of our orphanage visit and passport trip. This post contains videos that may not be able to be viewed on mobile devices and may only be able to be seen via our blog on a computer:

(2.4.15) 
Today we have a full day ahead of us as we head to Xinyang city where our daughter was born. I think all of the husbands that are going today (there are four couples) are a bit excited as we all get to ride a bullet train today. (one of the fastest trains there are) We were lucky to get tickets as this is the busy travel season for Chinese New Year, which is much like our Christmas/New year’s where families spend time together, take off work, and everyone heads back to the town where their families live.
 We left around 9:30 to head to the train station for a full day, which will include a visit to our daughter’s orphanage.  Though one might think that this would be exciting, it comes with great anxiousness, as it could be good or bad for the little one if they are taken inside. Everyone has a different opinion on this topic in adoption.  Visiting the orphanage is a chance to also more fully understand where a child came from, the type of care they were given, meet those who cared for them, ask more questions and see a small snapshot of what their life was like. It also allows there to be more information to share with the child later in life when they start to ask more questions about their life and adoption.  We have mixed emotions about this, but also see much value in it, particularly since we know our daughter has been cared for in a Show Hope care center partnered with New Hope Foundation, located on one of the floors of the orphanage. We've been praying for this opportunity and had others do the same, so are excited that the details have worked out. 

As we entered the train station, news reporters suddenly surrounded our group and started interviewing our adoptive families on why they were in China, what they thought about China and Chinese food, why we were traveling on the first day of the busiest travel season in China, etc. Our guide shared with us that many of them are from areas that do not see foreigners very often so our little group walking through this busy time of the year draws just a wee bit of attention.



The bullet train was an amazing way to travel. “B” seemed to like it as did her daddy since there was a lot of leg room.  They told us that once the train stopped, we had only 2 minutes to disembark or we’d miss our stop.  It was interesting watching “B” as we wondered at times what she was thinking about it all, what she was thinking as she looked out the window of the train headed back to the only home she’s ever known.


We arrived around noon in Xinyang and took about a 20-minute drive out of the city 
to our daughter’s orphanage. 



As we pulled up in front of the building,  “B” was dead asleep and we thought maybe that would turn out to be a good thing after all.

(***We have chosen not to show most of the video we shot on this day or in some cases files were too big to load, but here is a brief snapshot of us on the way to meet the staff and her nannies)


We walked through the halls of the orphanage and then after another family met their child’s caregiver, they ushered us to the floor where “B’s” care center was located. 



As we made our way and she looked out of the windows, you have to wonder what was going through that little mind. Did she recognize where she was? Were the sounds and smells familiar? Did she recognize the voices that she was hearing or the ladies who were peeking out of the rooms to watch our group as we walked through? Something tells me she did.
As we entered the floor where she lived, you could immediately tell the difference on this floor upon entering. The floor was decorated for Chinese New Year and the moment we stepped into the hall, nannies came out of nearby rooms and starting yelling to others in Chinese that our daughter was here.  They were all smiling ear to ear, looking and touching her new clothes, taking in every detail of her, pointing at her boots and hat, etc. You could tell they were excited for her, but more than that, you could tell she was well loved here. 

Within seconds, the nanny that cared most individually for her came down the hall and before we knew what had happened, she just grabbed her out of Nate’s arms and was hugging and making over her and poor little “B’ was stunned and started to cry.  To guess what she thought in that moment, I have no idea (though I have a few thoughts), but I was ready to leave the building so that she was not upset by everything going on around her.  I quickly took her back and explained to our guide that we would just hold her and wanted to see her room, etc. We told her that we know the nannies love her, but we didn’t want to confuse or frighten her by them holding her. “B” settled down and we took cues from her, but felt we were able to get a few quick photos and then leave.

We were able to see a neat child and nanny board they had in the hallway where they displayed the photos of the children in the center and the nannies’ pictures. We entered her room, which was very small- white metal beds with mosquito netting hanging above lined the wall.  
They took us to the right side of the room to a corner bed. It still had a sign with her name on it, both her Chinese name and the name Show Hope had identified her by.  


The walls had Disney characters on them and were very bright and such a contrast from what we had seen on the other floor.  


We had one last chance to get a picture with her nanny and it was so cute to see all of the other nannies peeking through the glass door at her and us and waving at her. Something tells me she might have been one of the favorites on this floor.

As we were leaving, our guide shared with the medical staff at the Care Center that she had been having trouble breathing and been sick since they dropped her off to meet us on Monday. They quickly took us to their medical room and did a quick check of her breathing and told us that this was also the reason they halted the surgery about two weeks ago when we found out she had been moved 9 hours away for surgery. 


They felt she was ok and they didn’t think medicine was necessary at this time.  They also wanted to get a picture with her and us before we left and then handed over to us medical information to the doctor at the Care Center who has cared for her since intake.  We now have his email address and they said as soon as we get home, they would be sending us all of her medical records and notes from intake until now which will be a blessing to have for our medical team that we will meet with upon returning home.  They will also be providing us with all of the photos they’ve taken of her since the day she arrived at the orphanage.
 (this is pretty much the same face we've gotten for the last three days) 


We left the orphanage and the guides had us make a very quick food stop (ironically, it was KFC) as we had to head to the passport office to get our daughter’s passport photo processed alongside her passport paperwork. While at the station to apply for the passport and take the child’s passport photo, we had to hold up our children, make sure they kept still (take a wild guess how fun that was) and that they looked directly at the camera (and you thought your job was hard?) and then we could move along to the next step.

While we were waiting for our name to be called for our next step, we fed Brielle her first taste of mashed potatoes and chicken nuggets (how American of us, right? LOL. Trust me- You do what you have to do while in China to feed your little one and get anything into their little stomachs) Let’s just say it was the first time that little “B” had downed something so quickly. She LOVED mashed potatoes! (she must take after her uncle "J")

The nuggets, well- in very small pieces she would eat a little and try to figure out how to chew this new item, but actually only ate a full one.  She’s been so good to let either of us feed her, which is a blessing and certainly helps with attachment to both of us and gives us both a break from time to time.

After we finished up in the office, we headed back to the bullet train for our trip home to our hotel in Zhengzhou.  



Unfortunately, because all of the children had been very off-schedule and it had been a long day of traveling by train, taxi, and bus- they were all a bit fussy on the way home. “B" just decided she would be squirmy and fight sleep, but at least didn’t scream and cry.  I’m sure all of the Chinese families on the train just loved our loud little group. 

As I left “B’s” orphanage and city today, tears streamed down my face driving through the streets of her city.

(seriously, I’ve cried more on this trip than my lifetime I think) A feeling of intense gratefulness to those who cared for her and also recognizing all the losses and difficulties she’s experienced in her short little life truly overwhelmed me in the moment.  Seeing her quickly attaching to us as her new family is truly a blessing we do not take for granted and are thankful for each day of this journey here.  Some have said that visiting an orphanage can be closure for a child and marked improvements can occur shortly thereafter.  It’s hard to truly say, but many that witnessed our visit at the orphanage today truly felt that during “B’s" short meltdown, she quickly recognized us as her caregivers now and didn’t want to be separated.  We hope that is true and continue to look to each new day as a new one where we will see more of her personality shine through and hopefully more walls coming down day by day.

We were truly blessed to have had this experience to visit her orphanage as the majority of families do not have this opportunity since many of the orphanages or foster homes are too far from the location where the children are brought to meet their new parents. We are so thankful.

Once we got back to the hotel, we decided to give our first “real bath” with “B” a go and see how she’d respond. We filled the tub with some water and then undressed her and stood her in the water to see how she’d respond. Ya’ll, what happened next was beyond hilarious. 

Can’t.

Even.

Handle.

It.

In less than 3 seconds after her little feet hit the water, she just began to pee in the water. She just stared at us as if to say “What?” “Why are you looking at me like that?” It was priceless. Needless to say, we had “Bath: Round Two” of which she actually handled very well and seemed to really enjoy taking a bath (which her paperwork had told us she enjoyed).







With that, it was off to bed with a restful day ahead and no agenda- just plenty of down time tomorrow to bond with “B” with hopes that we can continue to see improvements and a full smile in the days to come.


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